I’m pissed as hell that Eminem has a movie. Not that it’s a huge hit, which is appalling all by itself, but that he has a movie at all. Where’s my movie? I’m not even a prick. See, I was…
Blog Archives
McEyebrows
I was ordering a burger at McDonald’s but I couldn’t take my eyes off this chick’s eyebrows. They were the kind of eyebrows that look like they must be an accident; but they can’t be an accident because they match.…
Tagged with: beauty, big mac, eyebrows, fake eyebrows, humor, mcdonald's, self image
Posted in spews
Posted in spews
The "Boys Who Like Girls" Scouts Of America
My son used to be in the Boy Scouts. He is not any more. This is not because he’s gay, although I suppose it’s not impossible. It’s because he’s easily bored, and the people who run the local Boy Scout…
Tagged with: boy scouts, doctor laura, dr. laura, fags, gay, homosexuals, humor, pop warner football
Posted in spews
Posted in spews
Where Did This Old Man Ass Come From?
Where did this old man ass come from, and why is it following me around? I remember when I used to fill these pants out like freakin’ Barishnikov … well, not these pants, since these are the pants I bought…
Where Is My Future?
Where is my future? I know it must be here somewhere. It was promised to me – I was banking on it being here. Where is my future? Let me explain what I mean. So I’m driving through Aromas the…
Tagged with: cell phones, future, humor, jetsons, modern technology, orgasmatron, transmogrifier
Posted in spews
Posted in spews
My novel, Rocket Summer is now available in Kindle and paperback.
Visit RocketSummer.info for the story behind the story.
