"Away We Go" gains instant indie cred via hand drawn title font

Away We Go is just the latest in a long line of “indie” films to leverage the oh-so-cool “hand drawn title” font, lending it serious street cred and instant indie validation before anyone even sees the film. Recently popularized by 2007’s JUNO, the quirky hand-made title font brought visions of diary entries and emo-teen angst-filled[…]

how fucking old is wilford brimley anyway?

So I’m watching TV tonight and there’s Wilford Brimley (again…always…forever) pimping the medical supplies services he’s been pimping for what seems like an eternity, and I turn to my wife and I say “How fucking old is Wilford Brimley anyway? He was an old man twenty-five years ago!” I’m thinking, of course, of the Wilford[…]

Excess Chinese

I love all the cool stuff that comes with being in a First World country. I love the big cars, the expensive but plentiful gas that goes in the big cars. I love the fatty foods, and the huge portions of fatty foods. Just the concept of leftovers is enough to make me smile. And[…]

Snap Into A Slim Jim

Y’know, I’ve long held that people are idiots. But that’s easy to say. What’s hard is finding a good tool for proving it. One of the gauges with which I measure the idiocy of people is television. More so than movies, and more so than music. Eminem’s success notwithstanding. Of course, there’s some movies on[…]

Skateboard Pants

Sometimes there’s no love lost between me and skateboarders. Yeah, sure, already I hear the ludicrous freedom cry of “skateboarding is not a crime, yo”. But ya know what? I don’t hear the bicyclists, the tennis players and the golfers whining and moaning that they don’t get to practice their sports against the side of Civil[…]

Die, Little Timmy! Die!

I heard once that the Spam company was trying to get people to quit using the term ‘spam’ for unsolicited email. They gave up… ‘spam’ is just too universally accepted as a term for anything that you receive that you don’t really want. Like a fruitcake, In-Laws, or a drip that requires penicillin. Or Urban[…]

Christmas Hair

The plastic Christmas tree is a vast improvement over the natural tree. [One], I didn’t have to kill it. And [B], I don’t have to deal with spiders crawling out of it in the middle of the night and eating my brain. Or maybe that’s just me. Yet I still feel guilty somehow, like I’ve[…]

Holidaze

Halloween is over. It’s almost Thanksgiving. Then Christmas. Then New Years. It is, as I like to say, the beginning of the end. This time of year is, in fact, a season that particularly pisses me off. It’s a series of events that illustrates just how much of our culture and society is really all[…]

Too Much Truthiness

I figured out what I want in life. I’ve struggled a long time with this, and more than once I’ve thought I had it all figured out. Today, I’m proud to announce that I finally got it. And it’s not that complicated. I want too much of a good thing. That seems easy, right? I’m[…]

Llaves Sus Manos. Dick.

Common courtesy is an oxymoron. It’s bad enough that there are crazy old men with access to biological weapons. What I don’t need is my fellow citizens subjecting me to microscopic toxins just by being slobs. So I’m at the mall, in the bathroom of one of the large chain stores, which will remain nameless[…]

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