Slowly publishing the Faeries feature horror script a section at a time online.
FAERIES – the full release
Faeries was an experiment in process, a personal challenge to complete a feature script from concept to completion in 12 weeks, and prove that we deserved the opportunity to deliver on a writing assignment. Did we make it? Read the writing blog – each day of the writing process was meticulously recorded. (Remember that the blog posts sort in reverse – so start at the bottom and work your way through ’em)
We finished the play, submitted it to 2009 Shriekfest, and were chosen as Finalists.
We’ve since had a half-dozen production companies request it… but we’ve also got a number of writer friends who wanted a peek. So we decided to release it a section at a time right here.
I was tempted to do another polish on it… there are a few minor things we know we want to shine up. But we thought it would be good to get more feedback before we do, to make sure we’re making the right kinds of tweaks.
Now, the first 16 pages have always been online for review, so this first installment will be the first 29 pages. A new section will follow every two days till you’ve had a chance to see the whole thing.
And when the new section goes up, the old one comes down… but we’ll be tweeting the new postings, so keep in touch … and please, leave your comments if you have ’em.
*edit* We’ve decided to leave each of the parts up even when the new ones go up… so’s folks’ll be able to read through the whole thing if they like without breaking the rhythm. So if you like serials, take ’em as they come. If you prefer the 90 minute sit-down, wait a few more days. š
*edit again* We’ve removed the script now. Thanks to all for the great feedback… we’ll be working on the script and plan to submit to a few more contest soon.
We’ve been getting some great feedback via Twitter, which is awesome – but you can feel free to leave your comments here too. Here’s a little of what we’ve heard so far:
“Damn, @chipstreet, you boys can write!”
“Holy crap, I want to read more! I don’t watch a lot of horror (overactive imagination keeps me up at night :)) but I do enjoy reading it. Lots of tension and set ups… the chimney, the cat door, broken generator, “Just outta God’s reach.” Great stuff, guys!”
Thanks to anyone willing to take the time to read this script – extra kudos to those taking the time to give us feedback, good, bad or indifferent.
The “Damn, @chipstreet, you boys can write!” comment was mine. Here’s why.
It’s a page turner. To me, a page turner is all about Pace and Unresolved Conflict. Faeries moves forward constantly, consistently, at an excellent pace but never backing up except for one nightmare/flashback (Reese’s), which is short & sweet, fitting well into the narrative without dragging out over a whole page or more. Combined with the unresolved conflict and subtext, we want to move forward. We HAVE to move forward; that’s good storytelling. Really good.
Chip, I do have one bit of constructive criticism. Reese’s character feels inconsistent at times. At first she is introduced as frail, needy, suffering from the lingering effects of an accident (which makes for excellent subtext with Nick and all that’s happening to the two couples in their intertwined relationships), but at other times she seems oddly calm, even clinical. For example, when she and Graham find the coyote body, she’s searching desperately for one of her dogs, at times almost frantic about it, and her reaction to the body seemed out of character as too calm, too cool. This happens a couple more times.
I know she’s a veterinarian, but she’s also damaged goods. In that state, I don’t think she would be a very good one when it came to looking for her missing dog and finding that body. It seems better to attribute this skill set and demeanor more to the other female character, or, barring that, at least the demeanor to Graham in this example and/or others in other areas where the inconsistency doesn’t play well. The other three characters could appeal to her veterinary background and training as a means to calm her down in the process of getting answers they (and we the audience) need.
In the big picture, it’s a minor bit of constructive criticism. It didn’t stop me from turning the page or giving up on the read; on the contrary, this is going really, really well. I could easily see this getting anywhere from the full-on studio treatment with young up-and-coming stars attached to being produced on a low budget as a SyFy Channel Original Movie (that kind of flexibility is awesome).
I can’t wait for Part Three.
Justin, thanks for the input. You’re right on… that’s the primary focus for the next/final polish. Each of the characters will get a review, and Reese’s evolution will need to be more cautiously demonstrated. Thanks for confirming our suspicions!
Oh man I wish I could have read this. I love good horror and am working on my story called Evil Genesis.
Your Fairies story sounds really cool. The sonar choice was interesting. Making them blind makes them scarier b/c you can’t use light against them. You also can’t use camouflage as effectively.
I really wish there was a way I could read this.
I do have one question tho. If these creatures are always around, why haven’t they destroyed the entire area, meaning as they devour the local wildlife, they’d expand their territory and eventually end up in cities.
Thanks
Dan