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how fucking old is wilford brimley anyway?

11 Jun , 2009,
Chip Street
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2 comments

wilfred-brimleySo I’m watching TV tonight and there’s Wilford Brimley (again…always…forever) pimping the medical supplies services he’s been pimping for what seems like an eternity, and I turn to my wife and I say “How fucking old is Wilford Brimley anyway? He was an old man twenty-five years ago!”

I’m thinking, of course, of the Wilford Brimley of “Cocoon” (1985), and “Our House” (1986), either of which starred a 97-year-old Wilfred Brimley, right?

In Cocoon he’s an OLD man in a retirement village. And in Our House he takes in his teenage grandkids… I mean Shannon Doherty is like 14 in that series.

So I check out his IMDB. The man was born in 1934, which makes him about 75 today. Which means that 25 years ago, when he made Cocoon and Our House, he was about 51 or 52 years old.*

WTF? I’m 49! You mean the Wilford Brimley doddering around in Cocoon was two years older than me? The cranky old man in Our House, and shortly after selling America instant oatmeal from behind that grandfatherly mustache, was two years older than me? Holy crap on a stick!

So I got two choices… either I’m way the fuck older than I like to think I am, or Wilford Brimley has made a career out of playing really old dudes when he could have been playing leading men. I mean seriously, Bruce Willis is 55 and he’s still kicking ass and taking names.

Dude, which 50-something guy do I want to be? Which one do you want to be? The Bruce Willis or the Wilford Brimley**? No offense, Wilford, but I’m going with Bruce.

Hey, when I’m 75 I’ll be happy to be the cranky cantankerous old coot. But not before I have to, okay?

*Which means he was 38 when his granddaughter was born… which means he was 20 when his kid was born… which isn’t impossible, I guess, but still… **Okay, maybe with a name like Wilford Brimley you’re simply predestined to be an old man from birth. I mean, really. Wilford Brimley is no action hero name, right?

2 Comments

  1. Jeff June 12, 2009 at 7:42 am Reply

    Hmmm… this has me thinking of a certain script a certain someone wrote…

    He’s the perpetual Grandpa!

    We just saw him in John Carpenter’s The Thing and is was weird to see him turn into a psychopath. Can’t we all just eat our oats and get along?

    Funny post.

    I actually suffer from the reverse condition. I’m 38 and people think I’m still in college.

    • crankydog June 12, 2009 at 11:25 am Reply

      “I actually suffer from the reverse condition. I’m 38 and people think I’m still in college.”

      Yeah, I remember those days. The days when people would say “You have teenagers? You’re so young! You must have started when you were ten!”

      Now I tell them I’m going to be a Grampa and they say “Oh.”

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